Many years ago when I began working the 12 steps while attending a Christian recovery program, my sponsor said something that is burned into my memory.   He told me his story of how God delivered him from alcoholism, and actually delivered him from something even more significant.  When he admitted that he was an alcoholic and wanted to stop drinking, he found a sponsor and attended group meetings.  In those beginning stages he continually asked God to take away his desire to drink.  But the compulsion to drink continued.  This was so frustrating to him because he really thought that in working the 12 steps God would rescue him.

 It wasn’t until he got to the third step that the lights went on and the big change occurred.  For our Christians in Recovery group, this is how the 3rd step is worded:  “Made a decision turn our lives over to the care of God and Lordship of Jesus Christ.”

My dear friend said it was at this pivotal juncture he was finally able to quit drinking.  The key was surrender.   “Jim,” he explained, “God didn’t want to simply help me stop drinking.  He wanted something more.  He wanted me.” 

 And when he turned his life completely over to the rule of Almighty God, something very significant happened in his life — the desire to drink was gone.   And has never come back.

This story came to mind last night as I read a few words from this very powerful book I’ve been working through lately — The Kingdom of Self by Earl Jabay. 

Jabay had been a local church pastor for a few years before he went into the mental health field.  He eventually found himself counseling recovering alcoholics.  And while he thought he was the one to do all the helping, he discovered that God had a very significant life lesson for him to learn.   He needed saving and to surrender his life to Christ.

What an insightful book about the crucified life!  He tells of patients who at least once a day tell him, “Say a little prayer for me, Chaplain.”  Here’s his response to these requests:

    `In your case, it will take more than a little prayer — and if you’ve got a minute, I’d like to talk with you about something you need before we begin praying.  So let’s sit down and talk about it.’    I am not quick you notice, to offer prayers for God’s help.  For if the person requesting prayer is an egocentric, he is offering the wrong prayer.  Egoists should not be encouraged to ask God for help, for   of reasons.

     The cry for help is not the prayer God is waiting to hear.  He is waiting to hear our word of obedient surrender. God wants only one thing from us — our wills, subordinate to His will.  No humanitarian service, no worship, no prayer means anything until the issue of our wills is settled.  

    There is a vast difference between praying `God, help me to get things under control again,’ and praying , `Lord, You take over.  It has gotten to a point where only Your divine power can help this situation.  I’ll follow You out of this problem.’  

In the first prayer, God is asked to be a copilot.  In the second, the Pilot. 

This morning I said once more to the Lord, “You take over.  I surrender.   You be the Pilot.”

And in praying the prayer, the Lord keeps freeing me from the tyranny of self and uses me in ways I cannot imagine — to bring honor to His Name.

 Jim

I love that Fernando Ortega song, “Give Me Jesus.”  “You can have all the world…give me Jesus.”

 This song came to mind this morning as I quickly flipped through a book that someone donated to the Service Center.  Joseph Stowell, a long time president of Chicago’s Mood Bible Institute, wrote a short book called Simply Jesus.

His prayer at the end of the book brought me back to where I want my heart’s desire to be each day — and which can get swept away so easily in the daily swirl of life and all the other desires that compete for my heart:

      Dear Lord, from the depths of my heart I ask for complete cleansing.  Grant me the grace to keep self in its proper place, and to make my life simply about You.  In the midst of all my routines, successes,and disappointments, help me to always rejoice in You and value you above any earthly prize .  Meet me in temptation, and deliver me from evil.  And if I should suffer, help me to pause to feel Your pain and love You more for the way You suffered for me.  Jesus, I will live this day on bended knee by Your side in Gethsemane.  What You ask I will do.

    Thank You for the promise that You will reward those who diligently seek You.  I do seek You  — with all my heart.  I humbly ask that in Your good time and in Your way,  You would satisfy my heart with the experience of Your presence.

    In Your worthy name I pray.  Amen. 

 

And amen.

Jim 

As I’ve been writing about my friend, Bill Nash, for a special edition of our local Christian newspaper, The Way, I’ve been getting back into the 12 steps material.  As I’ve written earlier, Bill  has an amazing story of God rescuing him from the depths of alcohol and sex addiction.  And then He brought Bill in the back door of ministry where He’s used Bill to minister to hundreds and hundreds of folks who were physically and mentally challenged, strung out on drugs and alcohol, battling homosexuality and infidelity, and on and on it goes.

As Bill wrote in a talk he gave at a Walk to Emmaus, God revealed to him through working the 12 steps that his problem wasn’t sex and alcohol.  The core of his problem — and for all of us — is the issue of self.  He was the god of his own life.  And it wasn’t until he surrendered himself to Christ that life began to work God’s way.  For the last 36 years, Bill’s agenda has been dictated by God’s agenda.  And because of this agenda adjustment, what a glorious ministry it has been, showcasing the grace and power of Jesus Christ in this man’s life.

Yesterday morning I was reading a book called The Kingdom of Self.  It’s written by a pastor and counselor who learned the way of the cross as he was working with recovering alcoholics.  The Lord revealed to him how he was trying to run the show, even as a pastor.   As I read his story and thought again of Bill, I realized how much I am so easily taken over by self.  Even in my prayers, so many of them involve asking God to do this or do that, rather than surrendering to His will.

In Mike Cope’s sermon yesterday, he delivered a riveting message on the story of how God told Abraham to sacrifice his one and only son.  (I highly recommend you hear it on the Pod Cast— “Storybook lives …Abraham and Isaac — at www.highlandchurch.org)

Mike’s message underlined what I had been pondering earlier that morning.  To follow Christ means to give up our agenda every day and submit to His.  And really, what could be better than to be found in His good and perfect will each day.  

Jim

This afternoon I came across this quote from John Piper.  If you want to read some rich biographies of saints in the past, see his website:

    www.DesiringGod.org.  Look at the biography sections.

 Below is an excerpt from a talk he gave to pastors.  What I’ve read of Piper’s biographies have stirred my soul to want to know Christ more and live more passionately for him.

 What Christian biography has especially touched your heart?

Jim

Brothers, Read Christian Biography by John Piper

Hebrews 11 is a divine mandate to read Christian biography. The unmistakable implication of the chapter is that, if we hear about the faith of our forefathers (and mothers), we will “lay aside every weight and sin” and “run with perseverance the race that is set before us” (12:1). If we asked the author, “How shall we stir one another up to love and good works?” (10:24), his answer would be: “Through encouragement from the living (10:25) and the dead” (chap. 11). Christian biography is the means by which “body life” cuts across the generations.

This fellowship of the living and the dead is especially crucial for pastors. As leaders in the church we are supposed to have vision for the future. We are supposed to declare prophetically where our church should be going. We are supposed to inspire people with great possibilities.

Not that God can’t give vision and direction and inspiration. But He also uses human agents to stir up His people. So the question for us pastors is: Through what human agents does God give us vision and direction and inspiration? For me, one of the most important answers has been great men and women of faith who, though dead, are yet speaking.

Christian biography, well chosen, combines all sorts of things pastors need but have so little time to pursue. Good biography is history and guards us against chronological snobbery (as C.S. Lewis calls it). It is also theology – the most powerful kind – because it burst forth from the lives of people like us. It is also adventure and suspense, for which we have a natural hunger. It is psychology and personal experience, which deepen our understanding of human nature (especially ourselves). Good biographies of great Christians make for remarkably efficient reading.

How Calvin could work! After 1549 his special charge in Geneva was to preach twice on Sunday and once every day of alternate weeks. On Sunday, August 25, 1549, Calvin began to preach on Acts and continued weekly in that book until March 1554. On weekdays during this time, he preached through eight of the minor prophets as well as Daniel, Lamentations and Ezekiel. But what amazes me is that between 1550 and 1559 he took 270 weddings. That’s one every other week! He also baptized (about once a month), visited the sick, carried on extensive correspondence and sustained heavy organizational responsibilities.

When I look at Calvin and Edwards and their output, it is hard for me to feel self-pity at my few burdens. They inspire me to break out of mediocre plodding.

This month I’ve been working hard on a long story I’ve been commissioned about my dear friend, Bill Nash. Bill has been a recovering alcoholic for nearly 40 years and worked at the Highland Church for 25 of those years. God has used him to have an enormous impact on our church, this community and various parts of this country and our world. He has started and led numerous 12 step groups, one of which I was in several years ago.

While sending e-mails to friends of Bill, asking them to share how he has impacted their lives, I received one last night that I must share with you. Here it is:

“Baseball Grace”  by Ben Gray

His name is Bill Nash.

Bill is a retired minister of Highland Church of Christ

Bill is a friend to many folks in our community.

Some of you know Bill.

In addition to our faith we share a common interest—baseball.

We are both avid baseball fans. More specifically we have collected baseball cards.

A few years ago I was bemoaning the fact that I had given away my Mickey Mantle baseball card to the kid next door and that he left my collection out in the rain. The value of that collection could have paid my daughter’s college tuition. We all have our stories about baseball cards and the ones that got away.

About three years ago, Bill invited me to come to his home and see his baseball card collection. I politely thanked Bill and told him I would look forward to seeing his collection.

Another year passed and Bill invited me again to come see his collection. He said he had something he wanted to give me. I told Bill as soon as I could get my schedule squared away, we would get together. I’m thinking he has a small box of cards and has no use for. Again I dismissed his offer.

A few months ago, Bill’s wife Carol died. At the memorial service at Highland I was the last in line to see Bill. He asked me “When are you coming to see my collection?” Of all the things he had on his mind, he wanted to know when we would get together to see his baseball card collection!

Needless to say I was stunned that he remembered, especially at a time like that.

“Bill, how about next Tuesday morning. Let’s have breakfast and then we’ll go to your house and look at baseball cards.” (This was for his benefit.)

We had an enjoyable time at breakfast. Then we went to his garage. There he opened a small box of cards to show me. They were mint cards from ‘90’s….One tub, two tubs, 7 tubs totaled.

I told Bill I was grateful, speechless and yet ashamed that I hadn’t come over earlier to see his collection. I had no idea of what he had in mind. He had this collection for me and never insisted on coming over, but gently invited me to his home and I had declined each time. I asked Bill, “Did you ever think about offering this to someone else when I didn’t come over and get your collection?” Bill, “The thought never crossed my mind. I’ve always had this in mind for you because I know you would appreciate this gift.”

“This baseball card collection is like grace. You can’t pay me for it—it’s yours. It’s a gift with no strings attached. Whatever you decide to do with it is entirely your decision.”

As I drove home with cards in my truck, backseat, front seat, and floorboard. I thought about Bill. And the lesson he taught me about grace. It’s hard to drive and cry at the same time.

About an hour later Bill called me and asked me to come back over to his house. He said he had a surprise for me. I didn’t wait three years to respond to this invitation. As I was burning the tires off of my car to get to Bill’s garage, I could not imagine what this visit would be about. My fear is that he had changed his mind.

He invited me into his kitchen and reached into a drawer and pulled out…”I want you to have these balls because I know that you will treasure them also—Willie Mays, Stan Musial, and Pete Rose.”

“I remember your telling me years ago about your giving away your Mickey Mantle card and the kid next door and that you’ve grieved about that card…Maybe this will help fill the void…a Mickey Mantle autographed baseball…”

There are so many lessons I learned from this.

· Grace offered and grace rejected.

· I tend to respond to grace at my convenience.

· That God gently calls me to be gracious.

· The baseball was a metaphor of God’s grace reflected by a friend.

I Corinthians 2:9

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can possibly conceive what God has in store for those who love him.”

Prayer:

Lord, thank you for your grace.

Thank you for Bill who continues to live a life of grace.

Help me to be grace with skin on. Amen.

The beautiful photo above is especially meaningful to me as I grew up on the coast of Southern California. Though my home didn’t have this view, I could take a drive up into the hills of Ventura and see such a sight. Thousands of people in Malibu who are perched on the hillside of those 27 miles of majestic coastline are privileged to see such a gorgeous display of God’s creation every morning when the fog is cleared away.

For nearly two years I drove past Malibu each weekday morning while commuting to Santa Monica. Whenever our family flies out to Ventura to see my extended family, I usually opt to the Pacific Coast Highway en route from the L.A. airport to my old hometown. Inevitably I look up on those hills of Malibu with a bit of envy (okay, often with lots of envy), wondering what it would be like to live there year round. Yesterday’s morning news jolted me into reality as I witnessed video on ABC depicting massive flames consuming homes in this slice of paradise called Malibu. Students, faculty and staff from Pepperdine University were evacuated. Flames consumed a Presbyterian church. Diane Sawyer interviewed an architect and his family as they described their terrifying story of driving through walls of smoke and watching their Jaguar go up in flames.  Then this morning I briefly watched ABC to see a report of another horrendous fire consuming the hills around San Diego, one of my favorite places in the world.

Since departing from California in the late 70’s, leaving behind the temperate climate and ocean views, I’ve lived in many places in the United States. One thing I’ve noticed in these past 30 years is that no matter where I’ve lived, no matter how many nice things there were in that region, there was always some threat of a natural disaster. In the Midwest and Northeast it was blizzards. In the Southwest it was either droughts or tornadoes.

I think about those lovely tropical locations in the Caribbean. Who wouldn’t want to go there on their honeymoon and take a cruise through those turquoise waters and warm climates? And yet during the spring these islands are often turned into hellish disaster areas as hurricanes roll through, leaving a path of devastation.

A friend of mine once wanted to escape from all the problems in the U.S. and decided to live in an island in the South Seas. It seemed so much like paradise. And yet many of the islanders caught a staff infection from the ocean reefs and alcohol abuse was a big problem.

What I’ve observed is that no matter how nice of a place we can visit or live in, something in that slice of heaven will go wrong.  Paradise will be disrupted.  And I want us to be praying fervently for those folks in Malibu, San Diego and where ever that fire is presently raging.  Praying not just for their physical safety but that they will look to another world, an eternal world for their ultimate source of security.

I find myself far too often trying to make this world into heaven.  It may not be a major disaster that wakes me up to the fact that this world really isn’t my home.  Mostly it’s my battle with sin that keeps me awake to the reality that there’s a perfect home awaiting me.  A new heaven and new earth, with all of God’s creation in perfect submission to King Jesus.  A paradise that will be free from disruption forever.

 Jim

In many ways life really started in 1946 for my father-in-law, Bill Vaught.  Being encouraged to attend Abilene Christian Colllege by his preacher, Bill boarded a train in his hometown of Texarkana, Arkansas and headed west.  He didn’t know a soul in Abilene.  And yet not long after stepping onto the platform of that train station and being greeted by fellow students, Bill felt at home. 

Bill recalls how impressed he was when Dr. Witt, his chemistry teacher, led a prayer before every class.  He tells of how he became part of the cheerleading team.  When heading home for the holidays, Bill would put on his yell leader outfit and hitchhike home.  He never had a problem finding a ride. 

Bill discovered a love for accounting while at ACC and completed his degree in three years.  Not knowing what to do yet, he sought counsel from some business professors and took to heart their advice — head to the University of Texas to get a Master’s in Accounting.  

While at UT, Bill attended a church next to campus.  A beautiful student named Virginia  Paul caught his eye.  Their Bible class teacher asked if they would prepare a class on what the ideal mate would be for marriage.  Within a year, Bill and Virginia would be married to each other.

They eventually moved to Dallas where Bill spent the next 50 years in his accounting profession.  God blessed them with five daughters.  And eventually, all five girls attended and graduated from what is now called ACU.  Now many of their kids are attending this university, including our children.

Susan told me last night that when she was talking to her Dad, he said that he was so excited about coming to Abilene this weekend that he couldn’t sleep.  It’s Homecoming Weekend.  Bill and Virginia have returned on these weekends nearly every year for more than 50 years.  This city and university holds a very special place in their hearts, especially for Bill.   He’s “coming home” to a place where in so many ways — in his faith, with friendships, in finding his career choice — life really began for Bill Vaught.

Susan and I love these weekends.  We get all the beds ready.  She calls McKay’s Bakery and orders all the favorite desserts of our guests.  It looks like we’ll have about 15 people over for dinner Saturday night.   I think it will be a great evening.  Susan and her sister get to attend a club breakfast tomorrow morning, accompanied by their daughters who are also members.  That afternoon Bill and I will go to the ACU football game.

Most of us will attend Highland Church Sunday morning and then head to Rosa’s Cafe for lunch before everyone heads home.

Homecoming.  It’s a very special time.  The meals.  The reunions. The long talks with old friends.  Getting together with extended family.  It’s a weekend where you can suspend your worries for three days.  We can forget about financial struggles, family problems and whatever else that’s not quite right in this broken world.  It’s Homecoming.  And for these three  days there’s this temporary feeling that all is well.

I can’t help but think of how this weekend is a metaphor for the ultimate Homecoming.  All those who love Jesus will be welcomed home by Him, accompanied by our Christian loved ones who got there before us.  We get to enjoy the great wedding banquet.  Reconnect with family and dear friends.  The great connecting point for us all will not be that we attended the same university but that we were redeemed by the same Savior.

And in His presence and with all these people we love, we’ll be privileged to leave our problems and worries and pain behind us…forever.  Because for eternity, all will be well at this great reunion.  That’s the kind of homecoming that I can really get excited about.  And I’m sure that if he really thought about it, my father-in-law Bill would get excited, too.

Jim

            Every once in a while the Lord puts in my life a book that I desperately needed at the time.  Several years ago He did it again.  I was at a conference in Oklahoma and just before leaving I quickly went through a discount bookstand and picked up a gem. It’s called Grace Walk by Steve McVey (Harvest Press, 1995).  The more I read it, the more I felt that this author wrote it just for me.

            McVey’s basic premise is that too often believers in Christ are stuck in a performance-mode and therefore miss out on the life of grace that Jesus is has to offer.  He tells the story of when he’d been riding on the crest of a very busy and “successful” ministry career.   Suddenly his ride came to a halt.   Leading a large church in Atlanta, he applied all the church growth techniques that worked so well in his seventeen years of previous ministry.  Yet none of them worked.  Attendance in his church had even declined – a first for him.  One Saturday night, he was alone in his office – broken, weeping, feeling like an utter failure.  Life seemed hopeless.  However, it was right where the Lord wanted him to be.  At 2 A.M., laying on the floor with no tears left, Steve pulled a sheet of paper off his desk.  It was a declaration of surrender to God that someone had given him a few weeks earlier.  Steve immediately began to pray, “Lord I’m tired of struggling for victory in my life and success in my ministry.”  He then gave God permission to do anything in his life that He desired.  In that quiet moment, the Lord Jesus began a redemptive work in McVey’s heart — showing him that the key to living in God’s grace is to give up trying to live for God and instead to let Christ live through him.  This began a journey where Steve learned this liberating truth:  “Christianity isn’t built around performance, but is centered on the person of Jesus Christ.”

            This book has been absolutely transforming to me.  For you see, like Steve, I’ve been a performer for many, many years.  Trying so hard to do things for God.  And yet peace has often been so elusive.  After reading this book, my prayers changed to, “Lord Jesus, take control of my will and live your life through me.”  And He is!  Even in the midst of my stumbles and bumbles.

This book came to mind once more as I heard my clock radio go off early this morning.  Tom Dooley was on the radio, reading some profound words about how our only resource as Christians is Jesus Christ Himself.  I kept listening to the program as I got up to make coffee and prepare my breakfast.  His words gripped me as Dooley talked about the gospel and how our salvation is totally dependent on what Christ has done for us.  And how our walk with Christ is not us working for Him but rather allowing Christ to work through us.

I was anxious to hear what book he was quoting from.  And I wasn’t surprised.  It was another book by Steve McVey, a more recent one – Graceland.  I think I’m going to buy it.  Because I need this constant reminder that the Christ life is not about me trying harder but rather trusting Jesus Christ working in me, through the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit.   It really is…amazing grace.

Anyone out there have a story of how you realized you can’t do it on your own and you need the power of Jesus to live the live He’s called you to live?

Jim

 

    In a recent Leadership magazine I read a story by one of my favorite authors, Gordon MacDonald. He tells of a man named John Sculley tells of when he was being recruited to work for another company.  Sculley was a high level Executive at Pepsi – Cola.  And pretty content with his work.

    But another company leader named Stephen Jobs hounded Sculley about coming to work for him.  You probably know who Stephen Jobs is –   he’s the wonder boy that founded Apple Computers and the developer of I-Pods, I-Tunes and the amazing new I-Phone.

    One evening in New York City, Jobs was standing on a balcony of a condominium with Sculley, pleading with him to come work for Apple.  He even offered Sculley more money, but the guy wouldn’t budge.  Finally Jobs asked this stubborn man this piercing question:  “John, do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water…or do you want a chance to change the world?”

    Sculley said, “hearing that question was like getting the wind knocked out of me.”  In a few weeks he was packing his bags and moving out West to join the Apple Company. 

    Earlier this year I was speaking to a group of retirees at a church.  And I asked them this question:  “Do you want to spend your retirement years mainly playing golf, playing bridge, visiting grandchildren, and traveling?”  “Or do you want to be a change agent for Jesus Christ?” 

    One of the most annoying T.V. ads I’ve seen lately is of this retirement resort in Florida called “The Villages.”  It shows “happy” senior citizens golfing, playing tennis, playing soccer, sipping lemonades and doing line dancing.  This is supposed to be “the good life.”  Now I love golf and try to play as much as I can.  But I cannot imagine being retired some day and all I do is indulge myself in what I want to do. 

    I keep coming back to Jobs piercing question:  “Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water?  Or in changing the world?” 

    God has blessed me with the privilege of being surrounded by quiet world changers.  Many of them are elderly Christ-followers who keep showing up here at the Service Center to feed the hungry, give out clothing, and pray for the lonely. Through their example they remind me each day of what the true good life is all about. 

Jim

On Sunday afternoons when I’m watching a golf tournament, I often see a commercial that really annoys me.  It showcases a retirement resort in Florida called “The Villages.”  The ad shows “happy” senior citizens golfing, playing tennis and soccer, sipping lemonade and doing line dancing.  This is supposed to be the good life.  Our son especially gets a kick of the part when the seniors are playing polo or riding on online skates.  He just can’t imagine anyone that age having the ability to do this!

Now I love golf and realize that we all need a hobby or diversion to take a break from work.  However, I just cannot imagine spending my later years mainly in self-indulgence.  There have been too many senior saints around me lately who have modeled a work ethic into their 80’s and 90’s.  When I got to work this morning at about 7:50, the entire building was open, coffee made and a load of laundry tumbling in the dryer.  Bert Lana, age 84, got here early to open up before heading to the lab for his monthly blood work.  Bert is part of the Silent Generation, what Tom Brokaw dubbed as “the greatest generation.”  He learned to work hard at a very young age while being raised on a farm in Oklahoma.  Bert fought in World War II, participating in the second wave of the invasion of Normandy.  He trudged through snow carrying a rifle until his feet were frozen and he had to be sent to England and then to the states to recover.

Bert shows up here nearly every day serving as a volunteer, working mainly in the men’s clothing department.  But he also washes piles of laundry most mornings.

While I love a Friday evening when I can kick back and watch a movie with Susan and I relish those Sunday afternoon naps and watching a sports event on T.V., I can only stand so much relaxation.  (Susan thinks I’m too driven and need to have more Sabbath rests).  I don’t want to be addicted to my job, but I certainly feel blessed to have a place to go to each week day to work.

When I read Scripture such as the passage in this morning’s reading, I see how God calls us to work hard and support ourselves.  In his final words of 2 Thessalonians, Paul says to the church:

Stay away from any Christian who lives in idleness and doesn’t follow the tradition of hard work we gave you. For you know that you ought to follow our example. We were never lazy when we were with you. We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so that we would not be a burden to any of you.

This passage made me think of what a blessing work is.  And this may be a bit different for all of us — a stay-at-home Mom who carries so many responsibilities, working Moms who have to juggle a lot, people who love their job, and others who hate their job.

Whatever daily tasks are before us, how would we do them differently if we saw them as something we do unto the Lord? So as not to be a burden to others but to support ourselves, and to have something to share with those in need.  And to realize that our boss is really the Lord, as that well known verse in Colossians says.

My new friend, Otis, who volunteers here when work is slow at the detail shop,  has so many wise sayings.  This morning I was visiting with him a few minutes in the front yard of our ministry as he was cleaning our sign.  While scrubbing the sign with a soapy rang, Otis said with a sparkle in his eye, “Jim, this is a blessing to do this work.  The Lord has shown me that when I work for Him I align myself with His word.”

Thank You, Lord, for teaching me through Your word and through Your servant, Otis, the value and blessing of hard work.  

Jim